RAISING A CHILD AS A SINGLE PARENT IS VERY STRESSFUL

On the 16th December 2018, Mr. Ernest Gakpey media coordinator for Ananda Maga for Scotland Ghana  advising parent's on single parenting on a program organized by Ananda Magah  International of Canada.

According to Mr. Ernest Gakpey, raising a child as a single parent is very stressful. As a single parent, you have to handle several tasks and make more than few decisions. You may require effective ways to manage the special challenges single parents usually experience, to support and nurture your little one. Single parenting or single parenthood is a parent bringing up a child or children alone without a partner. The reasons for this can vary. They may have been in a relationship which they left, or their partner might have passed away, or been summoned to an active job.

When you go back to 500 years, the parenting approach was completely different. There is a phrase that says “it takes a village to raise a child,” which is quite accurate. Then, the child used to be nurtured by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and close families. With the time and modernization, the ‘village’ shrank, and it still continues to disappear.

Human beings have evolved so that the community raises them, but when it is not present, then the dysfunction will potentially develop.

Single Parenting Problems:

You might have just become a divorcee, a widow or separated from your “better half” for some personal reason. Or you may have been a single parent for many years. 

In any case, but the problems you face are not going to vanish magically as some people around you are not ready to change their perspective for you. You might or might not face the following issues:

1. It will be hard to maintain discipline in the home as a single parent will be the only disciplinarian, which can give rise to behavioral problems in children.

2. You may feel intense sorrow when your child envies pals who live with both parents.

3. Making new relationships are difficult especially when your little one is jealous or suspicious.

4. A single parent attaches to her children so badly for company and support that it makes difficult for the child to leave the house.

The various responsibilities of child raising, housework, and earning, will not give the parent enough time for themselves. It moreover results in adding stress, fatigue and pressure.

The income is small which may give less access to child health care.

The positive and negative effects of single parenting. Most times, the negative effects of single parent households are quite apparent; economic troubles and abandonment related trust issues. But, there are also positive effects on raising a child.

1. Strong Mother-child Bonding: Spending one-on-one time with your little one creates a unique bond which will be stronger than the one if you were a nuclear parent. It goes in the case of custodial parents (one who has sole physical custody of the child) and also non-custodial parents who play a significant role in their child’s lives. Realize your sole importance and do not try to diminish it.

If you think your bond is not strong, try to work on it. Your child’s connection with you will not end, and it continues to grow and evolve even after they turn 18. 

2. Strong Sense Of Community:

As with the phrase discussed above “it takes a village to raise a child,” it works with single parent families as well. Children who have single parents will also have many supporters.

Most cases, the extended family members will play a unique role in a child’s life. Single parents who do not live with their extended families will try participating in community groups which may include single parent support groups, synagogues and churches. Involve yourself in your child’s academics.

3. Share Responsibilities: Matured Children will find their parents working hard, and it will force them to collaborate and work along with their parents. 

Additionally, the children will also learn to manage their disappointments in life. Children brought up in single parent families will realize their importance in their parents’ lives. 

It is a healthy approach which will help them to prepare for the real world.

Source: Ernest Gakpey